According to Wikipedia a Pyramid Scheme is “a business model that recruits members via a promise of payments or services for enrolling others into the scheme.” So, it’s a business model based on recruiting as many members as possible.
Do you know any couple who has the same modus operandi? I’m guessing you at least have met one in your life. They want to find a partner to every one of their friends, to increase the number of couples at their dinner table on weekends.
As with any pyramid scheme, they disregard ethics. They don’t hesitate on setting you up with a total stranger. They encourage you to get back to your ex-partner. Even if the relationship was toxic, even if you deserve better… because at last you will be happily ever after, just like them.
My point is that very much as pyramid schemes, these couples have no product to sell, they have not interest on working on their relationship. So, they focus on other’s life. They pretend that their life is perfect, that being in love is so wonderful (just like that tea that makes you drop weight just by enrolling as a representative)
The reality is that being in a couple is hard work. Staying in a couple is not hard, being in one is. Staying in a couple that doesn’t communicate, that is still a couple thanks to a combination of Netflix, routine and social expectations is not hard. Being present in a couple is very hard. It means saving us time daily. Turning off the TV and talking about feelings, dreams and non-mundane things like paying bills, taking the kids to the doctors or fighting about who forgot to empty the dishwasher. Being present in a couple means being open to communication.
And after a hard day at the office or taking care of children or both, who wants to talk? It’s so easy to turn the TV on and immerse ourselves on another world and forget about our problems instead of confronting them.
That’s how many relationship issues end up suppressed. What to do with all this frustration? Well, if you are not going to use to better yourself you can always focus it on another. Perhaps if your friend was in a couple, she/he would go through the same, perhaps you could talk to them… Perhaps it’s just simple as all men/women are the same! So, let’s just talk about how annoying our spouses are with our friends instead of talking to them.
My other theory is that these couples are aware that they are not happy. They want to live again their happy moments as a new couple. Setting you up with another person, hearing you talk about your first date opens the door for a lot of memories. They can talk about them, rekindle their love and reconnect for a while. Another theory is that they aren’t happy, they don’t understand why they are not happy because they have all they were supposed to have to be happy and it really annoys them to see a happy single. It can be pure envy or just the fear of taking the step of exiting the couple.
What are your thoughts about these type of couples? Do you know any? How do you deal with them? Are you one of them? What is your theory?